Four things guys do not understand about girls, and visa versa~By Kyle

I couldn't help myself.:) In a world where more and more people are trying to neutralize the opposite sexes, I thought it would be humorous to look at some of the plain differences.

Four things I do not understand about girls

Purses

I always try to use Daddy’s keys when I drive, because trying to find Mommy’s keys in her purse is a daunting task. Digging through a purse to find keys is like trying to find a needle in a hay maze! Seriously, how many bazillion pockets in your purse do you ladies need to hold all your stuff? And do you really need to carry all the contents you would find in a bathroom cabinet with you wherever you go? :0)

 Showers

It’s Sunday morning, and I sleep through my alarm clock. With a start I jump out of bed and run for the bathroom, but—woe is me!—it is too late. One of my sisters has beaten me to the shower. I contemplate going back to bed, for when my sisters beat me to the shower . . . it is a long wait. When I do finally get the shower, the water is usually piping cold. I don’t understand why you lady folk take so much longer than us. I mean, you don’t just run a bit of shampoo through your hair, scrub the ‘pits, and half dry yourself off with a towel? It’s called efficiency, in case you were wondering.

The movies you watch
 I shift uncomfortably in my chair and groan. On the screen before me another Love Comes Softly movie is dragging itself out. Another dearly beloved rasps out their last few breaths while tears gush from the eyes of the main lady character; that is until she meets the strikingly handsome young man a few scenes later. Is it a given that at least two people must die during the duration of these types of movies? And how in the world does this stuff qualify as entertainment? Oh, and the new couple live happily ever after, at least until the next movie when one of them is wiped out.:0)

Make-up

Groan. My three beautiful sisters turned sixteen recently, the legal age in our family when you can start wearing make-up. I still have to do a double take when I see one of them in public, wondering what happened to their faces.

Four things my sisters don’t understand about me and the male kind I represent.

 

Our fascination with losing some of our blood

I woke up early one morning with a damp feeling on the left side of my face.  That’s strange. I flick on my light and sleepily look in the mirror. I blink several times and can’t help but grin at myself. My left cheek is covered with blood that apparently came from my nose.  I can’t wipe it off right away as my mind comes up with an elaborate story of how I received this wound (saving a damsel in distress, no doubt):-). Or the time I accidentally stapled my hand (not recommended, but entertaining just the same), and watched as the blood pooled in the palm of my hand and spilled over as the staple was pulled out. Contrast this with Valerie, who, after slicing her finger open with a pocket knife, entered our house making all kinds of funny noises of distress. The one intelligible thing I made out was, “I don’t want stitches, please no stitches!” She did not need any.

Our attempts at cooking something edible to eat

My sisters just don’t understand that we men have to try our hand at it sometimes!  Who cares if the toast comes out black (like always), it’s the effort that counts! Or maybe it is just another reason why it is not good for a man to be alone.

Our competitiveness

“It is okay, you can pay me the next time you pass go.” I do not know how many times I have heard this straight out of the mouth of my sisters in a game of monopoly. And they give me the strangest look when I tell them that that is not how the game is played. They do not seem to understand that monopoly is a fierce battle that needs to be fought tooth-and-nail to the bitter end, that forcing an opponent into debt is all part of the game. If they had it their way the game of monopoly would never have any losers.

 Dares

For some reason it is always the guys in the room urging me to eat the red pepper on my plate, while the girls in the room roll their eyes at best, or even plead with me not to do it! Where is their sense of fun? Probably left in the last movie of Love Comes Softly, if I had to guess.